Welcome to our comprehensive collection of CPA jokes and accounting humor, where we celebrate the lighter side of the accounting profession! Whether you’re a seasoned CPA grinding through tax season, a fresh accounting graduate studying for your certification, or simply someone who appreciates clever financial humor, this collection has something to brighten your day.
Our carefully curated selection covers everything from witty one-liners about CPAs to elaborate story-based jokes about the accounting profession. We explore the quirky world of auditors, the methodical nature of bookkeepers, the stress of accounting exams, and the unique perspective that financial professionals bring to everyday situations.
Feel free to share these jokes with your colleagues, post them on social media, or use them to lighten the mood during those long nights of reconciling accounts. After all, laughter is the best medicine for dealing with unbalanced trial balances and endless spreadsheets!
Table of Contents #
- Longer Story Jokes about Accountants
- Life as an Accountant Jokes
- Accounting Exam Jokes
- Devious Accountants Jokes
- Accountants Against the World Jokes
- Laws of Accounting Jokes
- What Do You Call an Accountant Who… Jokes
- Miscellaneous Accountant Jokes
Longer Story Jokes about Accountants #
These narrative-style jokes capture the essence of accounting life through entertaining scenarios that every financial professional will recognize.
The Insomniac Accountant An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.” “Have you tried counting sheep?” asks the doctor. “That’s the problem,” replies the accountant. “I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”
The Doctor’s Prescription A woman went to the doctor who told her she only had 6 months to live. “Oh my God!” said the woman. “What shall I do?” “Marry an accountant,” suggested the doctor. “Why?” asked the woman. “Will that make me live longer?” “No,” replied the doctor. “But it will SEEM longer.”
The Bank Robbery Two accountants are in a bank when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on, accountant number one jams something in accountant number two’s hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, “What is this?” to which accountant number one replies, “It’s that $50 I owe you.”
Ethics in Accountancy An accountancy student asks a partner to explain ethics in accountancy. The partner thinks for a moment and relates the following: “Mr. Jones, one of our clients, came to see me last week and paid his bill of £1,000 in cash. As he left, I counted the notes and they came to £1,100.” The student said, “I see. The ethics question is: do I tell the client?” “Wrong answer!” exclaimed the partner. “The question is: do I tell my partner?”
Don’t forget to check out these funny actuarial jokes for more financial humor!
Life as an Accountant Jokes #
These jokes capture the daily realities, quirks, and stereotypes of working in the accounting profession.
The Irish Finance Director Did you hear about the fraudulent Irish Finance Director? He burned his office down trying to cook the books.
Light Bulb Economics How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? How much money do you have?
Tax Form Philosophy What did the accountant say when he looked at the tax form? “The man who set the standard deduction must have been a bachelor. I’m lying when I’m listing myself as head of household.”
Literary Preferences What’s an accountant’s favorite book? 50 Shades of Grey (because they love working with different shades of financial statements).
Bar Room Wisdom A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Want to hear an accountant joke?” The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I’m 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I’m an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6'2″ tall, 225 pounds, and he’s an accountant. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?” The first guy says, “No, I don’t want to have to explain it two times.”
The Missing Accountant A business owner tells her friend that she is desperately searching for an accountant. Her friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire an accountant a short while ago?” The business owner replies, “That’s the accountant I’ve been searching for.”
Accounting for Dummies Accounting for Dummies: What’s the big deal? Cr. Cash, Dr. Dummies. Simple.
Risk Assessment Reality Why did the auditor get run over crossing the road? Auditors never actually do the risk assessment well until after the accident happens.
Insolvency Practitioner Definition What is the definition of an insolvency practitioner? Someone who arrives after the battle, bayonets all the wounded, pawns their possessions, and charges their time to the relatives.
Mathematical Confusion There are 3 types of accountants: those who can count and those who can’t.
The Interesting Accountant Have you heard the joke about the interesting accountant? No? Me neither.
Immortal Accountants Why do old accountants never die? They just lose their balance!
Department Motto Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
Accrual World It’s accrual world (a cruel world).
The Constipated CFO Did you hear about the constipated CFO? He couldn’t budget with his calculator, so he had to work it out with a pencil and paper.
Weekend Excitement Why do accountants get excited on weekends? Because they can wear casual clothes to work.
Lost Without Technology What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? Lost.
Professional Ailments What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t? Depreciation.
Internal Controls Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical? They have strong internal controls.
Motivational Pun Be audit you can be.
Biological Comparison What’s the difference between male sperm and an accountant? The sperm has a 1 in 250,000 chance of becoming human.
Going Soft How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
Literary Preferences Why don’t accountants read novels? Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
Bedtime Stories If an accountant’s wife cannot sleep, what does she say? “Darling, could you tell me about your work?”
Natural Birth Control What does an accountant use for birth control? His personality.
Social Interactions What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone? Popular.
Gang Activity What’s the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town and gang-audit someone.
Puzzle Achievement Why was the accountant so excited that he completed a jigsaw puzzle in only 59 weeks? Because on the box it said 8-12 years.
Financial Wisdom How does an accountant stay out of debt? He learns to act his wage.
Blonde Management Accountant Did you hear about the blonde Management Accountant? She went to see her fitness trainer to talk about stretch targets.
Transportation Humor What does an accountant say when boarding a train? “Mind the GAAP” (Generally Accepted Accounting Principles).
Vacation Visibility What’s grey and not there? An accountant on vacation.
Accounting Exam Jokes #
The stress and challenges of professional certification provide endless material for humor.
CPA Acronym What does CPA stand for? Can’t Pass Again.
Devious Accountants Jokes #
These jokes play on the stereotype of accountants as masters of financial manipulation and creative interpretation.
Great CPA Recognition How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.
Homeless Shelter Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
Fines vs. Taxes A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Hotel Room Destruction How does an accountant trash their hotel room? By refusing to fill in the Guest Comment Card.
Elephant Rider What’s grey, has 6 legs, 2 arms, and is twenty feet tall? An accountant riding an elephant.
Calculator Dependency What do you call an accountant without a calculator? Lonely.
Copper Wire Origin How was copper wire invented? Two accountants were arguing over a penny.
Rehabilitation Needs Why was the accountant in rehab? Solvency abuse.
Accountants Against the World Jokes #
These jokes compare accountants to other professions, usually highlighting the perceived dullness of accounting work.
Actuary Comparison What’s an actuary? An accountant without a sense of humor.
Office Party Entertainment What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? Invite an accountant.
Lawyer Comparison What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? The accountant knows he’s boring.
Economist Definition An economist is someone who didn’t have enough personality to become an accountant.
Career Change Motivation Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries? They find bookkeeping too exciting.
Professional Hierarchy Why do economists exist? So accountants have someone to laugh at.
Laws of Accounting Jokes #
These jokes present humorous “laws” that reflect the frustrating realities of accounting work.
Four Laws of Accounting:
- Trial balances don’t.
- Bank reconciliations never do.
- Working capital does not.
- Return on investments never will.
Business Success Rules There are just two rules for creating a successful accountancy business:
- Don’t tell them everything you know.
- [Redacted]
What Do You Call an Accountant Who… Jokes #
This classic joke format allows for endless variations on accounting themes.
The Overworked Controller What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? Lazy.
Unbalanced Books What do you call a trial balance that doesn’t balance? A late night.
Unemployed Executive What do you call a group financial controller who’s lost his job? Bob.
Opinionated Professional What do you call an accountant with an opinion? An auditor.
Miscellaneous Accountant Jokes #
These remaining gems don’t fit neatly into other categories but are too good to leave out.
Problem Solver Definition An accountant is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
Following Precedent Why did the accountant cross the road? Because she looked in the files and did what they did last year.
Santa’s Valuation How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
Time Check It’s 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?
This collection represents the lighter side of a profession known for its precision, dedication, and attention to detail. While we poke fun at accounting stereotypes, we deeply respect the critical role that CPAs and accounting professionals play in maintaining the financial health of businesses and organizations worldwide.
Remember: behind every successful business is a surprised accountant wondering how they managed to stay profitable despite management’s best efforts!